Taming the Tongue

There are very few things in life that are more difficult to control than our tongues! James tells us that “7 All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, 8 but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.” James 3:7-8. Isn’t that the truth?!

Years ago, I remember preaching on this text and I invited a local animal trainer to bring a baby tiger on stage to help make this point. That definitely got folks attention! Imagine, we can train wild animals like that, yet we can’t seem to get a handle on our own tongues. In fact, James tells us that no human being can tame it. Do you know what that tells you and me? That only God can help us get a handle on that “restless evil.”  

I’m sure that you, like me, have said things that you wish you hadn’t. Things you would love to get back or take back. But the truth is, once we say it, it’s out there; then we have to deal with the damage it has caused. Whether it is gossip, lies, slander, cursing, malicious or thoughtless words, our tongues can be full of deadly poison.  

On Sunday, our friend and guest speaker, Dan Roseman shared a really insightful message on James 3:1-12. In it, Dan noted three ways the tongue can destroy relationships.  

As James opened this passage, he acknowledged that keeping the tongue in check can be a real challenge; and that teachers of the Word have a particularly high bar when it comes to the words we use. (James 3:1-2). But James also noted that “we all stumble in many ways;” so, as Dan pointed out on Sunday, if James, Jesus’ very own brother and one of the people God used to pen His Word, struggled and stumbled with his words, we can all be honest about our vulnerabilities too!  

The truth is that we all sin with our words. The trick is to be aware of our tendency to sin with the tongue. So how can the tongue destroy relationships?  

1)Swaggering with Speech (James 3:3-6)

This is using the tongue in a cool, confident kind of way that doesn’t take into account it’s power and potency! The tongue can pack a punch and do a lot of damage. 6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.” James 3:6 

Dan pointed out that studies have found that it takes at least five positive interactions in a relationship/marriage to make up for every negative interaction. If you have experienced hurtful or harmful words from another, you might argue it would take far more than five kind interactions to make up for that one slip of the tongue. A swaggering, irresponsible tongue can destroy a relationship.

2)  Refusing to Learn (James 3:7-8)

One thing that comes with maturity, especially spiritual maturity, is the benefit of learning from our past failures, especially with our words. The problem for some is their unwillingness to learn from those failures. James points out that no human being can tame the tongue, which again makes clear how we must surrender our hearts to the Lord’s leadership to have any control over it. Jesus said, 45 …For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.  Luke 6:45b.  What is your heart full of? That’s what will come out of your mouth.

3)  Ignoring the Image of God (James 3:9-12)

10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. James 3:10  Amen! Yet how many times do we praise God with our mouths and curse others with that same mouth? I love the illustrations that James uses to drive his point home… Fresh water and salt water can’t possibly flow from the same spring. Salt water is sometimes called brackish water and it is undrinkable. It’s also ludicrous to expect a fig tree to bear olives or a grapevine to bear figs. Likewise, it’s foolish, irreverent and even blasphemous to use the same mouth to praise God and yet curse others. With the Lord’s help, we can do far better, can’t we?  

For much more, click here to watch the service and listen to Dan’s excellent message: Blueprints - Part 7 - Taming the Tongue.