Ending the Wars (Conflict)

James opens chapter 4 of his letter with a great question! What causes fights and quarrels among you? James 4:1 How would you answer that? Selfishness, covetousness, anger, resentment, pettiness, foolishness, stubbornness… the list goes on and on, doesn’t it? These negative, worldly characteristics will be evident where we find ourselves at “war” in life. Sadly, we can face conflict in any relationship in life, at work, school, home or church.  

James asks, then answers, this vital question for us! Not only does he tell us where the fights and quarrels emanate in our lives, but he tells us how to eliminate them! In James 4:1-12, James details the three wars we face in life….

1) The war with others. (James 1a; 11-12)

James makes clear that conflict can and will happen among people, and when it does, it can be debilitating and handicapping for any relationship! We see conflict in multiple churches in the NT, including the Corinthians, Galatians and Ephesians, to whom Paul wrote: 3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. Ephesians 4:3

So where does the fighting and quarreling start in our relationships? James specifically notes two causes of conflict among Believers: slander and judgement. Slander is a wrong use of the tongue. It’s always better to think, before you speak! There is a great acronym you can use to help you steer clear of slander. THINK before you speak. Ask yourself these questions: Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it inspiring? Is it necessary? Is it kind? As Rick Warren said, “God solved a lot of your problems when he gave you a brain, so use it!” Think before you speak to avoid slander.

James makes clear that passing judgement on another will lead to conflict too. One commentator notes that James was not forbidding us from “evaluating” another or as a former pastor of mine famously said, “As Believers, we don’t judge one another, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make an observation!” Now that is not to say that we will embrace, condone or overlook sin; we will not. We can observe it, discern it and condemn it: but we will leave the judgement to the Lord… and judge He will!  Jesus taught that we would be better served to examine ourselves instead of judging others.  (Matthew 7:1-5)

2) The War with Ourselves.  (James 4:1b-3)

Now James challenges us to peer into our own hearts to examine our motivations and inclinations that lead to the fights and quarrels among us. They start with what you desire, James says. What is James referring to when he says, “You desire but do not have?…” Selfishness and covetousness drive our desires that lead to wars with others.  And both will lead to wrong prayers fueled by wrong motives. We even saw this play out with Jesus’ very own disciples in a powerful narrative captured in Mark 10:35ff.  

No doubt James had picked up on this vital instruction from Jesus. Serving the Lord and others, not self, is the hallmark of greatness for a Believer; and service is the antidote to the poisonous pill of selfishness that causes fights and quarrels among us! If we focus far more on serving others and far less on serving ourselves, our relationships will soar! Think about how that would play out in your workplace, your marriage, and in your family.

3) The War with God. (James 4:4-10)

How does a Believer declare war with God? By being friends with the world. By embracing worldly ideology over Godly ideology! By choosing the world over the Word.

James names three enemies we cannot befriend as Followers of Jesus:

The World -  (James 4:4). By the world James is referring to society apart from God.  We as Believers must be very careful… Friendship with the world happens not abruptly, but gradually, leading to conformity over time. Yet Paul makes clear in Romans 12:2 that we must not conform to the world. To do so would be to commit “adultery” against Christ for Believers, according to James. We must remain faithful to Him. Is there any area of your life where you have befriended the world?

The Flesh - (James 4:5). The Spirit jealously guards our relationship with God and grieves when we sin against Him. Do you submit yourself daily to the Spirit’s control in your life?  When you don’t, your fleshly tendencies are apt to show up.

The Devil - (James 4:6-7). What is the great sin of Satan? Pride! And pride is one of His most potent weapons to use against Christ-followers. God wants us to be humble, but Satan wants us to be proud! God wants us to depend on His grace, but Satan wants us to depend on ourselves. Satan is all about inflating our egos, puffing us up, telling us to live life, not God’s way, but our way! He tells you that you know best, not God. Beware. 18 Pride goes before destruction, Proverbs 16:18.  

So what can faithful Christ-followers do to experience peace, not war?  James gives us these three directives….

Submit to God - (James 4:7a) This word submit in the original language is a military term that means “get in your proper rank.”  Recognize it is God Who calls the shots, not us. When we try to take the lead, we will not experience peace in life. When we fully surrender to His leadership, we will. 

Draw near to God - (James 4:8). How do we draw near to God? By confessing and repenting of the sins that plague us and separate us from Him. If you are far from God right now, it is time to end the war within yourself and with Him! Repent from your sin.

Humble yourself before God - (James 4:9-10) Sin is serious business and it must be met with serious repentance, with complete humility. Humility is not a casual endeavor. Sin is not to be laughed off. True repentance will be accompanied by grief and mourning. But great joy follows when you experience God’s amazing grace! 

For much more, click here to listen to: Blueprints - Part 9 - Ending the Wars.